Someone recently asked me: “What is the one thing I can do to improve the overall quality of my life? You know, feel happy and shi*.”

My answer was:

“Feel your feels.”

And then it went something like this:

Him: “That’s it? It can’t be that easy 🤣”

Me: “If it’s so easy, why aren’t you happy? 😏”

Him: “😶”

Yes, it sounds so easy, doesn’t it?

“Feel your feels and you’ll be happy…”

But it’s true.

Not the easy part, but the feeling part.

---

Someone once said: “Joy is the matriarch of the family of emotions, and she will not come into a house where her children are not welcome.”

Deep, right?

But what does it mean? 🙄

It means, if you’re not allowing yourself to feel the shame, the grief, the anger, or the pain, you’re also missing out on joy, love, and abundance.

You can’t suppress some of your feelings and still fully feel others.

I think all of us have felt the relief and joy after a good cry, or the lightness and ease after a hard conversation with a loved one where fears were expressed.

And did you notice that I didn’t mention “feeling relief after expressing your anger by yelling at someone”?

No.

That is not a healthy expression of the emotion.

And let me hold your hand when I say this, but that is emotional abuse.

Not only towards the person receiving the angry outburst, but also towards yourself.

---

And this part gets me so frustrated: If we weren’t, as a society, conditioned to be afraid of our emotions, these angry outbursts wouldn’t even need to happen.

From my years of researching emotions, plus healing my own relationship with them, one thing is clear:

The amount of accumulated emotions in our system is directly connected to our tolerance for stress.

So the more you push aside your emotions, the more receptive you become to stress.

Where even the smallest inconvenience can send you on an emotional rollercoaster.

And I have mentioned this before, but that was me in my old life.

And it still is sometimes today.

I am not perfect, and I will never pretend to be, but what has helped me become sooooo much less reactive is feeling the feels.

---

When I first started learning how to become less reactive, how to release the heaviness I was carrying around every. single. day... I had no idea how to do it.

And because this is something so many of you ask me about...

I am starting a new series in my YouTube Membership that will guide you through exactly that.

It is available only to members, but you can join free for the first month and start exploring the first meditation in the series.

---

And this is what I want to leave you with:

Feeling your feels has nothing to do with anyone else.

It’s not about forgiving if you’re not ready. It’s not about accepting what was done to you.

Feeling does not equal any of that.

Feeling is releasing yourself from the pain. Putting down all the weight you’ve been carrying around for years.

You are ready ❤️

---

With all my love

Darja x

PS. That email was forwarded to you? Subscribe here ❤️