If you still believe that getting the promotion, earning X amount of money, getting married, having a baby, buying the house, moving to your dream country…

…will suddenly make everything in your life better and make you magically happy,

I'm here to deliver the bad news.

Don't shoot the messenger 🫣

Those things can absolutely bring you joy.

But they will never be able to take away the anxiety.

The feeling that everything is on fire.

The feeling of being pulled in 17 different directions at once, and needing to distract yourself with TV, social media, a “couple glasses of wine” 🍷 or anything else that helps you switch off for a little while.

Because the feeling you're actually looking for is safety.

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And you can't outsource that to your next achievement.

Because if your nervous system doesn't feel safe now, there is always going to be another thing you believe you need to get, achieve or change before you can finally relax.

And I know this because I've done it too.

I used to think that once I have more money, or grow my business, or when I'm in my dream relationship, or when this or that or another things happens, that's when I'll finally be able to be truly happy.

But there is always another “when.”

And at some point, you have to ask yourself:

What if the life I'm waiting for isn't going to give me the feeling I'm actually looking for?

What if the feeling needs to come first?

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This is why nervous system work has become such a huge part of my life and my work.

Because I'm not interested in creating a life that looks amazing from the outside while my body is constantly waiting for the next problem.

I want to be able to actually feel safe enough to enjoy the life I'm creating.

To have money without constantly worrying about losing it.

To grow my business without feeling like everything depends on me doing more.

To love someone without needing them to regulate my emotions for me.

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And honestly?

I think this is one of the deepest parts of growth (and life in general).

Learning that you don't have to wait for your external circumstances to become perfect before you allow yourself to experience peace, joy and happiness.

You can start creating that feeling now.

Not by pretending everything is fine.

Not by forcing yourself to be positive.

But by teaching your nervous system, little by little, that you are safe enough to slow down and enjoy life now.

So maybe the question isn't:

“What do I need to get to finally feel better?”

Maybe it's:

“What would it feel like to become the person who already feels safe enough to enjoy this life?”

🥹❤️

And that is a very different kind of life.

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With all my love,

Darja x

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