One of the biggest ways I’ve learned to spot my limiting beliefs and upper limits, is by paying attention to my first thoughts around the things I want.

The thoughts that come up instantly when I think about something bigger for myself.

A holiday.
Falling in love.
Starting a business.
Making more money.
Moving abroad.
Being more visible online.
Taking a risk.

Because usually, those first thoughts tell you everything you need to know about the subconscious beliefs running in the background.

For example, when you think about going on holiday, does your mind go:
​ “omg yes, that would be amazing”

Or does it immediately jump to:
​ “where am I going to get the money?”​
“What if something goes wrong?”
“I probably shouldn’t spend money on that right now.”

Same with relationships.

Do you think:
​ “I can’t wait to experience that kind of love”

Or:
​ “What if they cheat on me?”
“What if I get abandoned?”
“What if I lose myself again?”

Or maybe when you think about a promotion, starting your own business or earning more money, your mind immediately goes into stress:
​ “That’s too much responsibility.”
“I won’t be able to handle it.”
“I’ll burn out.”
“What if I fail?”

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And the interesting part is, most of us think these thoughts are logical.

We think they’re just “reality.”

But a lot of the time, they’re actually subconscious beliefs and nervous system patterns that were formed way earlier in life.

Usually in childhood.

Because your brain is always trying to predict what’s safe based on what’s familiar.

So if you grew up around financial stress, your brain learned that money is unstable and there’s “never enough.”

If you grew up around unhealthy relationships, love may subconsciously feel unsafe.

If you grew up seeing people constantly exhausted and overworked, success might feel heavy instead of exciting.

And then later in life, when opportunities show up, your mind automatically filters them through those old beliefs.

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This is exactly what started happening to me after I started my own company.

I realised that every time I thought about travelling, slowing down, or even allowing myself to enjoy the money I was making, my first thought was:
“where will I get the money?”

And mind you, I had a high-paying corporate job before that. I was making more money than I ever thought I would growing up. But no amount ever felt safe.

Because the issue was never the amount.
It was the belief system underneath it.

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I grew up around survival, financial stress and “just getting by,” so my nervous system had learned that money disappears, life is unstable and you always need to prepare for something going wrong.

So even when my external reality changed, my internal one hadn’t.

And honestly, I think this is why so many people stay stuck even when they’re doing “all the right things.”

Because if your subconscious mind believes something is unsafe, your brain will always find a way to pull you back into the familiar.

That’s why awareness is so important.

Because once you start noticing your automatic thoughts, you start seeing the beliefs underneath them.

And once you can see the belief, you can start changing it.

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So if you feel like you’re not where you want to be yet, start there.

Pay attention to your first thoughts when you think about the life you want.
​
They’re clues 💅

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With all my love,

Darja x

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